Friday, January 3, 2014

My observations on an article suggesting stress control measures by Indian women written by our beloved writer, Chetan Bhagat

Author- Manoj Kumar Abhimanyu

Let me first share his article that came in Times of India in the month of December in First section and then in the Second section you will have my observation-

Section - I
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Alright, this is not cool at all. A recent survey by Nielsen has revealed that Indian women are the most stressed out in the world: 87% of our women feel stressed out most of the time. This statistic alone has caused me to stress out. Even in workaholic America, only 53% women feel stressed.
What are we doing to our women? I'm biased, but Indian women are the most beautiful in the world. As mothers, sisters, daughters, colleagues, wives and girlfriends - we love them. Can you imagine life without the ladies?

For now, I want to give Indian women five suggestions to reduce their stress levels.

One, don't ever think you are without power. Give it back to that mother-in-law. Be who you are, not someone she wished you would be. She doesn't like you? That's her problem.

Two, if you are doing a good job at work and your boss doesn't value you -tell him that, or quit. Talented, hard-working people are much in demand.

Three, educate yourself, learn skills, network - figure out ways to be economically independent. So next time your husband tells you that you are not a good enough wife, mother or daughter-in-law, you can tell him to take a hike.

Four, do not ever feel stressed about having a dual responsibility of family and work. It is difficult, but not impossible. The trick is not to expect an A+ in every aspect of your life. You are not taking an exam, and you frankly can't score cent per cent (unless you are in SRCC, of course). It is okay if you don't make four dishes for lunch, one can fill their stomach with one. It is okay if you don't work until midnight and don't get a promotion. Nobody remembers their job designation on their dying day.

Five, most important, don't get competitive with other women. Someone will make a better scrapbook for her school project than you. Another will lose more weight with a better diet. Your neighbor may make a six-dabba tiffin for her husband, you don't - big deal. Do your best, but don't keep looking out for the report card, and definitely don't expect to top the class. There is no ideal woman in this world, and if you strive to become one, there will be only one thing you will achieve for certain - stress.

So breathe, chill, relax. Tell yourself you are beautiful, do your best and deserve a peaceful life. Anybody trying to take that away from you is making a mistake, not you. Your purpose of coming to this earth is not to please everyone. Your purpose is to offer what you have to the world, and have a good life in return. The next time this survey comes, i don't want to see Indian women on top of the list. I want them to be the happiest women in the world. 

Cherish Womanhood!!

Satisfaction is always Better than Success. Because Success is measured by others, but Satisfaction is measured by own Heart..!!

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Section II - My observations –
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 This article as usual seems to be very informative and well expressed by our beloved writer, Chetan Bhagat ji. He writes fluently in very simple, easy to understand common men’s words.  I have always got inspired by him. But agreeing with many of his points here, I beg to differ on one aspect where he has mentioned that "give it back to the mother-in-law". In fact this sentence is crudely used to identify and categorise the old aged mother-in-laws as cruel ladies who often mishandle their daughter-in-laws. Media and daily soap operas (Saas Bahu Serials) have already enough fueled such a general conception among the people. 

I don't deny that such mishandling or cruelty happen in our society by the mother-in-laws on their daughter-in-laws, but if 4 or 5 ladies do that out of 100, you can't blame squarely mother-in-laws as a class that torture their daughter-in-laws. To the contrary, the facts suggest something else that does not get media attention because that does not sell.  We are talking about a woman who is weaker, who cross the age of fifty till their sons get married, who is mostly suffering with old age diseases, who is often ignored by their husbands and sons due to other priorities and their busy lives with not much time to spare for her.  In such a case, how can she torture her far younger, physically fit, energetic, more educated and independent daughter-in-laws who are comparatively from more liberal and smarter generation, and to whom today the Indian laws have also armored with several weapons to use on their in-laws in case of any disputes arising within the family? That too when we mostly live in nuclear families where at most we have our families consisting of wife, husband, children and their parents with no extended family living with us under one roof.  

Further these old mother-in-laws have little voice as compared to their daughter-in-laws in the family and elsewhere.  An old lady's cry and torment in the hands of her daughter-in-laws is hardly heard in India and is often ignored by the society. I think it's a very sensitive issue, we often forget that these mothers have given us birth and because of them we exist, and they deserve the maximum respect from us all in their old and weaker stage of life. After all today’s daughter-in-laws are tomorrow’s mother-in-laws too.  Are we really giving that respect to them?  Let us ask this question to our own hearts. Chetan Bhagat ji, I sincerely differ from you on this point. I too have modern thoughts and do not subscribe to old age hippocratic views but due to some instances that happen in the society mostly in backward areas where girls are married in their young age, all mother-in-laws should not be branded like this.  Leaving aside this aspect your article is really good and worthy of admiration as I have already mentioned in the first para of this observation.

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मित्रों यदि मेरा यह पोस्ट आपके दिल को जरा भी छू कर गुजरा हो तो मुझे विश्वास है कि आप मेरे इस प्रयास को लाइक दे कर मुझे और भी अच्छा लिखने की प्रेरणा, स्नेह और आशीर्वाद देंगे। आप अगर मुझे मेरे फेसबुक प्रोफाइल पर फॉलो करते हैं तो आपको मेरे शेयर किये सारे पोस्ट्स आपके नोटिफिकेशन्स में मिलते रहेंगे। 

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