What men want their women knew

Just like the ladies who possess lots of difference from each other, men too differ a lot.  Their expectations, their tastes and their moods depend on several things.  Some like docile kind of ladies with whom they can take the lead. And some really like to be dominated.  But again being dominated and allowing the partner to take lead are not always the same things.  Some men are really emotional.  If you want to know his real emotions, don't just go on his clingy words, try to read into his eyes, unspoken words tell you a lot.  Girls need to take time to understand a man.  Watch and notice him before falling for him.  Go by your instincts.  A true man is an asset for a girl in today's times.  If you find one, never let him go.  Both men and women want to have a partner with whom they want to mature with the time, to share their lives for decades.  But then probably they are not able to find the real partners and so, they mostly fail or compromise, the only two aspects that life throws upon them in case of wrong decisions.  Always remember two different individuals complement each other and so often two similar kind of people in nature, taste and preferences do have things like ego, competition, jealousy etc.  So accept the differences, in fact these are good for the long term relationship where you explore the new things in each other for long and it keeps the relationship going.  

Yes men like surprises.  They like their partners to do small things like moving around them like butterflies, looking into their eyes.  They want real expressions on your face.  Your true smile is one of the best energizers for them. They love hair ruffle, cuddling and canoodling.  They like to be hugged tightly.  Their partners have to make them feel that yes they are special for them.   

When a girl rustles up meal at dinner, their partners silently and pleasantly watch them doing so.  When a girl sings for his partner and when she talks emotionally in her God- gifted sweet sensuous voice, her man falls for her and incessantly look at her face willing to shower his love on her.  But they can judge if you are pretending.  So, be honest and true in your emotions.

======================================================================== मित्रों यदि मेरा यह पोस्ट आपके दिल को जरा भी छू कर गुजरा हो तो मुझे विश्वास है कि आप मेरे इस प्रयास को लाइक दे कर मुझे और भी अच्छा लिखने की प्रेरणा, स्नेह और आशीर्वाद देंगे। आप अगर मुझे मेरे फेसबुक प्रोफाइल पर फॉलो करते हैं तो आपको मेरे शेयर किये सारे पोस्ट्स आपके नोटिफिकेशन्स में मिलते रहेंगे।

Can ex-lovers be good friends?

There are some valid points in support and against of this. Actually it differs on case to case basis and individual to individual.  In my view, its a very complicated issue.  It depends on individual's own understanding level, the level of depth that they had in their relationships when they were together.  There may be hook-ups for a short time, and then if you are partying ways; it won't take you much to move on as the degree of intimacy in such relationship hardly reach to the level that it will let you go in deep pain; such relationship can turn into friendship but with some hiccups initially.  You may often have seen such things happening in your own circles, specially in case you are part of a group of friends where you may find one person who was hooked to one of the members initially and then the same person got hooked to some other member from the same group.  All the three members of the group know each other well so even after the end of their romantic relationship, the friendship continues.

Often in cases, where there was a depth in relationship and they were grossly involved to each other and then relationship turned sour, the degree of pain goes higher.  Newton's third law work here perfectly i.e. "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction."  And so, there may be situations when they don't want to see each other face to face let alone talking to each other.  So it's difficult to reconcile and move on as friends.  They simply can't.  As whenever they would try to do so, those memories would start playing haunting games. 

Thirdly, in case of common friends and situations where they knew each other for quite a long time, and they were friends before they came into a romantic relationship, and/or in cases where they are business partners, it's difficult for them to snap their ties even after the romantic relationship is over.  This is because of level of understanding they have developed over the years, and the common friends who still work as a bridge for them, and so although the romantic relationship is over, this may turn into good friendship given each other's need for the sake of smooth functioning of their business and also because they know each other more than anyone else does. 

======================================================================== मित्रों यदि मेरा यह पोस्ट आपके दिल को जरा भी छू कर गुजरा हो तो मुझे विश्वास है कि आप मेरे इस प्रयास को लाइक दे कर मुझे और भी अच्छा लिखने की प्रेरणा, स्नेह और आशीर्वाद देंगे। आप अगर मुझे मेरे फेसबुक प्रोफाइल पर फॉलो करते हैं तो आपको मेरे शेयर किये सारे पोस्ट्स आपके नोटिफिकेशन्स में मिलते रहेंगे।

Being good or being bad is often relative

Good and bad are relative terms. What's good or what's bad that is measured on different scales and tested on several parameters. Different customs or different traditions or different practices under different societies may have different views on what's good or similarly on what's bad. Just for an example, consuming alcohol or consuming non-vegetarian food may be good to some, but also may be bad for others. Even law makers in different states have different opinions, for some betting or gambling or consuming drugs is not a crime, but for some it's a severe crime.

Now let's talk about the human perception towards a person. The same person for some,people may be good and for others may not be. Further two good people may not prove to be good friends, while we can also see that two seemingly people of different perceptions, means one good and the other bad may be good friends. A bad person may appreciate a good person for obvious reasons and also that some qualities that he himself lacks he finds in the other. Similarly a good person would not have the ego issues with the bad person and the former likes the later due to later's kind nature and good gesture towards him and the value or recognition that he receives from the later.

The gist of all the debate is that a person himself is good and bad both as all good and evil resides inside us. We may behave or react differently under different situations and under different company or different groups. For an example, we may be very disciplined i.e. good before our parents as per their expectations and bad to our hostel warden. Further company of bad people does not always mean that the person himself too is bad. Similarly company of good people for a bad person does not guarantee that he is good. Therefore a person should not be judged on one parameter or two. We should take time to know him completely before we make our opinion or give our judgement on him. But often we remain in so much of hurry that on first meet or on first look, we give our judgement on someone. That's our real weakness that we should free ourselves of. Often such judgement lead us take wrong decisions.

======================================================================== मित्रों यदि मेरा यह पोस्ट आपके दिल को जरा भी छू कर गुजरा हो तो मुझे विश्वास है कि आप मेरे इस प्रयास को लाइक दे कर मुझे और भी अच्छा लिखने की प्रेरणा, स्नेह और आशीर्वाद देंगे। आप अगर मुझे मेरे फेसबुक प्रोफाइल पर फॉलो करते हैं तो आपको मेरे शेयर किये सारे पोस्ट्स आपके नोटिफिकेशन्स में मिलते रहेंगे।

Discover the different worlds - make friends, for friendship knows no bars

'Queen' - Wonderful movie, loved to watch this!  Specially the way the four roommates turned friends on a vacation, that too from different nationality, different language and different ethnicity.  How they connected to each other touched me to the core.  

Life has several things to offer to us.  Visiting different corners of the world is one of them.  Under our budgets and limits, we must try to visit newer places and learn the experiences of different worlds.  This not only widens our perspective towards others, but it also gives us an opportunity to let others know and change their perceptions towards us.  Life is a journey, whether you live it or not, it will end the day its time is over.  

Knowing someone from different culture, making friendship with them and having fun together is altogether a different experience.  Persons from different culture, ethnicity or language may become good friends, this movie has tried to convey this to us.  In all corners of the world people are there who are friendly having good hearts, good sense of humor, demeanor and respect.  Sometimes I feel India is such a big country with such a big population that many tourists get attracted to it by this very thought - it makes India unique. They want to see Indian culture, the diversity that we have.  They want to see our life style, they want to taste our foods.  They want to see our beautiful mountains, beaches, forests and historical monuments.  But when they reach here; they find beggars, vagabonds, brokers, cheats and bluff masters.  From Rickshaw-pullers to guides, from street hawkers to priests - all seem to be after them just to make money by crooked ways.  

Recently I was on an official  tour to Delhi and so I stayed there in a hotel.  The hotel was full of foreign tourists.  I found at the reception hall that there was a counter for guiding the tourists staying there.  The person guiding them was an Indian gentleman quite professional in his job; he was speaking in fluent american English and telling each one of them to be watchful from the prying eyes of the cheaters, specially the Auto Rickshaw drivers, the agents and brokers roaming on the streets.  He also told them not to frequent much with the strangers in the wake of recent rape and assault cases and not to venture at desolate places.  He was right in his job to guide the tourists about the real danger they may face when they step outside the hotel.  To an Indian listening these things about us as a general remark will look quite insulting, but whatever he was telling was a true assessment of the facts.

Friends, let us put ourselves in the shoes of those foreign tourists who come to India with so much of affection and enthusiasm and then they are told to be watchful, not to frequent with an ordinary Indian.  Isn't it really shameful for us?  Due to some wrong people, all Indians are infamous. Let's change the way we think about foreigners. For many countries, the tourism is one of the biggest contributors of their GDP though they are much smaller countries than India and also they are not so much blessed by mother nature as India has been.  The income from tourism sector to them is hundreds of times more than India. We can imagine how much we lose due to such an image that Indians have got world over.  Their missionaries issue advisories to their citizens visiting India cautioning them against all the bad practices including cheating and physical abuses prevalent in India.

When we go to their countries to visit, do they treat us like this?, probably no.  Let's learn from them.  They come to India to know Indian culture, to know how an ordinary Indian despite so much of poverty tales, enjoy his life; how he remains happy in his limited resources.  But these tourists hardly find any scope to mix with us. They have the desire, but we let them have the fear of the untoward in their minds.  Recent incidents have propelled this notion in them towards us.  That's pity, really pity for all of us. 

Well, it's morning 4.15.  I don't know whether now I would be able to sleep or not.  But whenever I wake up late at night and have something brewing in my mind, I try to give it a shape in my writing.  I tried the same now; and now I would be relieved a lot that the itching that I felt for last few days to write something got completed in the wee hours tonight. 

Thanks my lovely readers and friends!  Keep living.. keep smiling.. keep loving.  Respect and preserve your fellow beings.. this planet is ours as well as theirs.

================================================================== ====== मित्रों यदि मेरा यह पोस्ट आपके दिल को जरा भी छू कर गुजरा हो तो मुझे विश्वास है कि आप मेरे इस प्रयास को लाइक दे कर मुझे और भी अच्छा लिखने की प्रेरणा, स्नेह और आशीर्वाद देंगे। आप अगर मुझे मेरे फेसबुक प्रोफाइल पर फॉलो करते हैं तो आपको मेरे शेयर किये सारे पोस्ट्स आपके नोटिफिकेशन्स में मिलते रहेंगे।

Metropolitan Cities - a great divide between the rich and the poor

Recently I was on visit to Delhi and Chandigarh for some official assignment. I was in a train from Chandigarh to Delhi and when the train left New Delhi station, I saw there were pool of garbage everywhere beside the railway track till a long stretch for some kilometers. There were many girls and small children in the middle of those garbage dumps.  They all were holding a bin bag over their shoulders looking for something that they could pick out from the garbage in their bags. They would sell those rags and earn a paltry sum for the entire day of work in exchange.  These rag pickers are common everywhere. But whenever I see those boys and girls I feel like they are destined to live their lives like animals.  These young girls and boys are vulnerable to various diseases.  Also almost all of them undergo sexual assaults and physical abuses by the anti-socials and vagabonds as they mostly happen to be orphans or children born and brought up on footpaths or slums. 

On the other hand now a days since we often read the reports of rapes and sexual assault on girls and women, one of the major reasons for this is that they are often made to go to defecate in open. I thought earlier that this was happening only in rural areas, but in the vicinity of Delhi, the capital of republic of India, this might be happening I did not think of earlier. But it's a reality I could understand during my journey. We often ignore the fact that a major part of our rural population migrates every year to metropolitan cities like Delhi and Mumbai. With the unbridled population growth and limited resources at the hands of the governments and local bodies, it is almost impossible for them to provide the basic amenities of life to this overgrowing population who just come there with big dreams, big expectations and to have a better life than what they had earlier at their villages. But how these families live there, we can't imagine.  Later on it proves to be a mirage.

There is only one solution to this problem - Population Control. Law makers need to do something concrete for this. Also the government needs to stop this bulk migration by providing employment to people in their own rural areas starting development projects at all states and those unrepresented areas from where maximum migration of such folks happen.

======================================================================== मित्रों यदि मेरा यह पोस्ट आपके दिल को जरा भी छू कर गुजरा हो तो मुझे विश्वास है कि आप मेरे इस प्रयास को लाइक दे कर मुझे और भी अच्छा लिखने की प्रेरणा, स्नेह और आशीर्वाद देंगे। आप अगर मुझे मेरे फेसबुक प्रोफाइल पर फॉलो करते हैं तो आपको मेरे शेयर किये सारे पोस्ट्स आपके नोटिफिकेशन्स में मिलते रहेंगे।

Damini - story of a lone crusader reminding that every home today requires one Damini

Watched the movie 'Damini' directed by Raj Kumar Santoshi just now.  It was released in year 1993.  I have seen this movie once when I was a young school going student but then I could not have fully understood the underlying message in this movie.  Friends we often have a tendency to count on the greatest movies of our times, and then we tell the names like 'Sholay', 'Mother India', 'Guide', 'Deewar', 'DDLJ', Munna Bhai MBBS', '3 idiots' and many such names among our Hindi movies. I don't think 'Damini' is put in that list.  But when I saw it today I feel like 'Damini' is class apart.  The stellar performance of 'Sunny Deol' in this movie is probably the best by any Indian Actor. The dialogue delivery, the action and the effect of the same on the audience that I could imagine, must be unparalleled then.  However there is no superhuman effort in this movie like those which are shown in Salman's or Rajnikanth's movies.  

The message in this movie is not just another story to fight against evils present in our society.  In fact it shows a common and honest person's call of her heart to fight against wrongs that are happening inside her own home and that's where she is not fighting with others, but with her own near and dear ones, and then when she has her everything at stake.  This is what puts this movie in a different league.  The dilemma of an Indian housewife to bring out the facts of what his brother-in-law and his friends have done to a hapless young maid at their home, or to silence the call of her heart has been truly reflected in this movie by this great director of our times. However she is not able to kill her inner voice and then she is targeted brutally by her own people for taking the side of the truth.  It's the movie in which she could crusade this fight single handed.  

Message is very clear.  Fight against wrongs even in our homes.  Society is created by our own homes.  When about our own children, siblings or other family members we can sniff that someone is going on wrong path, immediately intervene to correct them.  Don't hide their faults.  Let the truth come out so that he or she doesn't repeat that mistake.  Such things should be nipped in the bud and if in every home we have one 'Damini', this world would truly turn out to be a crime free and evil free adobe for us.

======================================================================== मित्रों यदि मेरा यह पोस्ट आपके दिल को जरा भी छू कर गुजरा हो तो मुझे विश्वास है कि आप मेरे इस प्रयास को लाइक दे कर मुझे और भी अच्छा लिखने की प्रेरणा, स्नेह और आशीर्वाद देंगे। आप अगर मुझे मेरे फेसबुक प्रोफाइल पर फॉलो करते हैं तो आपको मेरे शेयर किये सारे पोस्ट्स आपके नोटिफिकेशन्स में मिलते रहेंगे।