Punarvivah - It's time to change our age old thoughts against divorce and remarriage

Author- Manoj Kumar Abhimanyu

A very emotional and sensitive topic that I wish to raise on this forum. Yes now the days are over when we used to say that Marriages are made in heaven. The way we have progressed in the twenty first century, our life style has got a sea change. Our thought process, our individuality, our self esteem, our ego everything has got a big boost.  However now people are not as tolerant, as submissive and as accommodating as they used to be about a decade ago.  In fact they are now more aggressive, assertive and outspoken.  Unlike their parents or senior members of the society, if something hurts to other due to their actions, they hardly care for it.  Most of the people in young generation are now self centered or are part of disassociated closed group of persons. Let the world go to hell, my life is going well only that matters, nothing else - that's the simple philosophy of life today for the new generation.  

It's actually a duel between this younger generation and the older one, the former wants to break the set rules of society and come out of the age old traditions where there is no scope of any liberty, any breather or any space for self in a relationship.  Whatever the rule book said, that used to be blindly followed irrespective of whether that made a sense or not, was the old philosophy. Yes the rule book that has been prepared under the age old traditions which may be wrong or right but that needed to be followed.  

One of the facets of this duel results in failed marriages for the younger generation people.  Many of those having modern thoughts are tied their knots with someone who are complete opposite to them.  Both of them happen to be strangers before the marriage and in many cases remain strangers even after months and years of marriage.  They don't understand each other. They don't like each other.  Their presence in each others' life hurts them a lot as if they are unwanted guests who have occupied their time and space forcefully.  They may often be found to murmur or curse each other in front or at their backs. Each day becomes a kind of boxing ring where punches come from the words of mouth.  That really pains a lot to both. Can you think of such a situation where you are told to live twenty four hours with someone to whom you hate the most?  But this is one of the unfortunate truths of the new generation reeling  under such a  seemingly unending deadlock.  

In such situations, the people whoever come to know about that, will either give some words of sympathy to the couple (in no sense they happen to be couple but for society they will always be treated that way) or would say that they are not able to keep their marriage intact because the boy is wrong or the girl is wrong as per their own wisdom, judgement, choice, tilt and biased approach. But still they would tell them to live together even if there is no solution for the so called couple to live peacefully together. If one or both of them go to the court for the solution, courts would not give them divorce if the distressed couple do not come for mutual one. 

In contested divorce, it will take years for the parties in disputes to get divorce.  Date after date, you need to make hundreds of rounds of the court and by the time the verdict comes, the boy and the girl no longer remain of the age when they can start their lives once again by remarrying.  And in the course two lives get spoiled for ever due to factors like self-ego, revenge, instigation by the families, pressure of society and ultimately highly inordinate delay by the courts to leave them to suffer and reel under the crisis for ever.  

Well I got the idea to write on this topic watching a few episodes of a TV serial named 'Punarvivaah' coming on  Zee TV. Such serials will inspire such distressed couples and their families to let them start their new lives by coming out of such deadlocks and start a fresh, following the approach of forgive and forget.  Marrying again is not a sin. If your previous marriage was not successful, it's not because the boy or the girl were bad.  It may be because they did not match at all.  They were not compatible.  They did not like each others' taste and preferences.  Their frequency level did not match. They were not comfortable in each others' company.   Second marriage for the same girl or a boy may be blissful if the compatibility is good.  Come on our elders, our more experienced and senior members of our society, please I beg of you, understand this reality for God's sake.   Allow your sons and daughters to come out of such bitter relationships peacefully and in time. Allow them to get married once again as per their own choice and compatibility.  

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मित्रों यदि मेरा यह पोस्ट आपके दिल को जरा भी छू कर गुजरा हो तो मुझे विश्वास है कि आप मेरे इस प्रयास को लाइक दे कर मुझे और भी अच्छा लिखने की प्रेरणा, स्नेह और आशीर्वाद देंगे। आप अगर मुझे मेरे फेसबुक प्रोफाइल पर फॉलो करते हैं तो आपको मेरे शेयर किये सारे पोस्ट्स आपके नोटिफिकेशन्स में मिलते रहेंगे।